Ironhide's TICKLISH Maintenance
by Trackster
Summary: Ironhide is forced to endure the most torturous maintenance check he's ever had and to make things worse, he's left alone with two, very mischievous human kids who are determined to make Ironhide...relax? Is that the word for this kind of situation?


**Please note that I do not on the Transformers, their names, brands, company or anything to do with their products. All credit for the Transformers goes towards Hasbro.**

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_**Ironhide's TICKLISH Maintenance**__**.**_

"Oww! My aching joints!" Ironhide groaned. He walked around the Autobot base, helping Ratchet and Wheeljack to clean up a huge pile of rocks and mess that was scattered all over the place. Earlier that morning, they had been attacked by one of the Decepticons named Rumble, who had infiltrated the base, trying to learn what the Autobots next move was in their next battle against the Decepticons. Fortunately, Ironhide had detected an intruder and although they were unsuccessful in catching Rumble, thankfully they discovered him before he learned any of their secrets, so they were safe, for the time being. But, poor Ironhide. Every time he bent down to pick up rocks and boulders, he groaned in pain and every time he stood up, his metallic-joints clicked, almost snapping. Finally, Ratchet couldn't take it anymore.

"Right, that's it," he said, dropping his heavy-load of rocks on the floor.

"Hey, watch it!" Exclaimed Wheeljack, bending down and quickly retrieving something from the floor. "You almost broke my new invention and I haven't even tested it out yet."

"Oh, slag that," retorted Ratchet, walking over to Ironhide. "Ironhide, you need help."

"What do you mean?" Asked Ironhide, warily.

"I mean, it's time you got a maintenance check. Come to think of it, when did you last have a maintenance check?"

"Uuuggghh…a few months ago…a year…maybe two?"

"WHAT!" Ratchet exclaimed. "You're supposed to have a maintenance check at least once every few months. You're coming with me right now!"

"What? I…NO!"

Ironhide tried to protest, but Ratchet had already grabbed him by his arms and was pulling him into his medic's bay.

"Hey! What about all this mess?" Shouted Wheeljack. "Who's gonna help me clean it up?"

"Oh…get Brawn or someone to help you. Right now, Ironhide needs medical attention."

"What I need is for you to GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!"

Ironhide continued to struggle and protest in Ratchet's arms as Ratchet finally managed to haul him into his medic's room. It took a lot of force, not to mention a lot of audio-bashing from Ironhide, but he finally got Ironhide to lie down on the medic berth.

"Ratchet, you must have a screw loose. I don't need a lousy maintenance check. They don't call me "Ironhide" for nothin'.

"You're getting a maintenance check, even if I have to force you to stay down."

"Ha! You can't force me to do anything I don't wanna do," scoffed Ironhide, sitting up and making to leave. Ratchet tried to push him back down, only to end up in a scuffle to get the old bot to settle.

"Ironhide, I am WARNING you, lie down and stay down…or else…"

"Or else what?" Ironhide challenge.

Finally having had enough, Ratchet quickly ducked behind Ironhide and opening a panel in his back, pressed a button. Suddenly, Ironhide felt his energy quickly draining out of his arms and legs, feeling his body becoming harder and harder to move.

"Hey, what the…?" he began. He became totally paralysed and would have fallen to the floor if Ratchet hadn't been there to catch him. Holding him in both arms, Ratchet carefully placed Ironhide back onto the bed, lying him on his back.

"Ratchet. What have you done to me?" Exclaimed Ironhide. "I..I…CAN'T MOVE!"

"I've paralysed your body by putting you into stasis lock."

"YOU WHAT?"

"I'm sorry, Ironhide, but if you're not going to cooperate with me willingly, then I'm just going to have to make you cooperate. You're getting a maintenance AND a tune-up, if need be."

"Why you…!" Growled Ironhide.

"Oh, don't worry, you old bot," Ratchet grinned. "The paralysation effect is only temporary. It'll wear off soon."

"How soon?"

"A few hours."

"Great," grumbled Ironhide, when he saw the large grin on the medic's face.

For the next half-hour, poor old Ironhide had to endure many prodding and poking in places that he didn't care to mention. Ratchet, although enjoying himself, still took pity upon Ironhide for the fact that he was helpless and couldn't do a thing. So, he took it easy on him, trying to work fast and not making it too unpleasant.

"Well, do you want the good news first or the bad news?" Ratchet asked, once he was finished.

"The bad news, doc. Lemme guess, I'm gonna die!" Ironhide said, sarcastically.

"Ha-ha! Very funny. No, the bad news is that you'll be stuck in stasis lock for a remaining 30 to 90 minutes."

"What could POSSIBLY be the good news?" Groaned Ironhide.

"The good news is that you're actually in pretty good condition, better than I had expected, actually. You just needed a few bolts tightened up and some oil here. Once the stasis lock finally wears off, you'll be ready to go. In the mean time, I've got some other patients to attend to, so I'll have to leave you alone for a while."

"Hey! Wait a sec," exclaimed Ironhide. He hated to admit it, but he felt rather frightened to be left alone in such a helpless state. "You can't just leave me alone like this! What if we're attacked or something. I'd be…a sitting pig?"

Ratchet burst out laughing, almost keeling over. "I believe the humans refer to the term as "a sitting duck."

If Ironhide had red blood and wasn't already the colour of red, he would have been blushing as Ratchet laughed his head off. Eventually, he calmed down.

"Wait here," he said, as he left the room. "I'll be right back."

"Where am I gonna go?" Ironhide asked, sarcastically.

A few minutes later, Ratchet walked back into the room with Spike and Carly.

"Hello, Ironhide," Carly said, sweetly. "Ratchet told me about your little check-up. How are you feeling?"

Ironhide smiled as Ratchet lifted Carly and Spike up and placed them carefully onto his chest. "Oh, hello, Carly," Ironhide said, softly. "Apart from not being able to move, I'm feeling just fine. Ratchet said I should be up and about in the next hour or so."

Ironhide cared about Spike and his father, Sparkplug, very much. They were his best human friends. However, he especially had a soft spot for Carly. Ever since the day Ironhide had rescued Carly from drowning after being captured by the Decepticons, she had believed in him and shown him that, despite his age, he was just as strong and brave as the rest of the Autobots. She was a very special friend to him, although, being as proud and stubborn as he was, would never admit it to her.

"I didn't think you'd appreciate me having Prime coming in here and seeing you like this in your temporary state, so I thought you would feel more comfortable if Spike and Carly watched over you for now."

"Thank you, Ratchet," Ironhide said, very grateful to the medic for his compassion. "I'm good with that, as long as Spike and Carly don't mind."

"Yeah, we're fine. Right, Carly?" Said Spike.

Carly smiled and nodded.

"Then, it's settled. You two look after Ironhide. I'm going to attend to Sunstreaker. He's complaining about his paintjob being ruined again…probably just another scratch. But, hey…I'm a medic, so I can't be too careful."

Chuckling to himself, he waved a friendly goodbye to the three of them and left the room.

For the next few minutes, Spike, Carly and Ironhide remained in silence, until Carly finally spoke up.

"So, Ironhide. You really feel okay?" She asked.

Ironhide chuckled. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, Carly."

"Does it ever hurt when you're getting these maintenance checks and getting all fixed up?" Spike asked.

"Hmm…occasionally. But then again, we machines feel pain less compared to humans."

"Huh! You're lucky," smiled Spike. Just then, spike began to walk along one of Ironhide's legs.

"What in Primus' name are you doing, kid?" Ironhide asked, confused.

"Man, I've never noticed just how tall you really are," said Spike, truly amazed. "I just had to get a good measurement of you."

"Well, kindly stop it," said Ironhide. "It feels weird having you two all over me like this."

"Oh, sorry, we'll get off," said Carly.

Before Ironhide could protest, Carly carefully slid down the side of his body to land on the berth, causing Ironhide to…giggle?

"Hee-hee-hee-hee! Hey, watch it, kiddo," giggled Ironhide.

"Ironhide, did you just giggle?" Carly asked, smiling.

"Yes, but…NO! No, I didn't," Ironhide quickly said, looking embarrassed.

"Yes, you did," Carly said, smiling. "Are you…?"

"NO, I'M NOT," Ironhide exclaimed. "Just, leave it, you two."

Carly grinned and wiggled a few fingers along the side of Ironhide's body, causing him to giggle even more. If he could move, he would have squirmed away from her reach.

"Can you actually feel me touching you?" Carly asked.

"Yes," giggled Ironhide. "And I wish you would stop stroking me like that. It's a funny feeling. It's making me...want to laugh and I can't stop it."

Spike was sitting on the edge of one of Ironhide's large feet. Carly and Spike exchanged mischievous grins to each other. Spike, getting an idea, grabbed onto the toe-end of Ironhide's foot and holding on with both hands, dangled facing towards the soul of Ironhide's foot. Lifting up his legs, Spike began to rub his two feet against the soul of Ironhide's large foot, moving his feet quickly and roughly along the soul's surface as though he were running on the ground. Ironhide burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! SPIKE…Whatever you're doing, STOP IT!"

Spike laughed and stopped. "You're right, Carly!" Spike laughed, jumping down from Ironhide's foot and landing safely on the medic berth. "Ironhide's ticklish. He's ACTUALLY ticklish! I don't believe it."

Spike and Carly laughed at their new discovery.

"I am NOT ticklish. My feet are just a little sensitive, is all."

"That IS ticklish, Ironhide," giggled Spike.

"Ironhide, are you really ticklish?" Carly giggled.

"For the last time, I am NOT ticklish," replied Ironhide, but he was smiling. His secret was out.

"Oh? Well, in that case, you won't mind if I give it a try," Carly grinned, speaking in a cute voice.

"Huh? Try? Try what? Give what a try?" Ironhide asked, feeling nervous now as he watched Carly walking along the medic berth, making her way down to Ironhide's feet.

"Carly? Carly, stop! What are you going to do?" Ironhide asked, feeling even more nervous now. He was totally helpless to do anything. As long as he remained in stasis-lock, he could do absolutely nothing to defend himself. He couldn't even move his fingers, let alone his feet. A part of him wished that Ratchet was there to help him. On the other hand, if Carly was going to do what he thought she was going to do, he really couldn't bear to suffer the humiliation of Ratchet or any transformers witnessing this.

Finally reaching his feet, Carly faced the souls of Ironhide's feet. Reaching her hands up as high as she could, she began to scratch her fingernails along the metal souls of his feet. Ironhide tried so very hard to hold in his giggling, but he just couldn't bear it when his feet were being stroked and teased like that. It drove him crazy! Finally, he lost it and remaining completely motionless on his back, began screaming with laughter. This was just his luck. His feet were being tickled so bad and he could do absolutely nothing about it. He couldn't move one bit. The only things he could move were his mouth and eyes, and that's not exactly going to help in this kind of situation, except to show him what's happening and then to beg for mercy.

"AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Ca-Car-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Carly…Plea-hee-hee-hee-hee-ease! NO! Don't do this!" Ironhide laughed, helplessly.

"Hee-hee-hee-hee! This is so much fun," Carly giggled over Ironhide's laughing. "Spike, you've gotta try this. Come and tickle his other foot."

"Yeah!" Spike laughed, running over to Ironhide's other foot and proceeded to tickle him the same way Carly was. With two pairs of small hands tickling both feet, Ironhide just totally lost it. He no longer cared if anyone heard him screaming like a Sparkling and he didn't care that he was begging to two small humans. He would do anything to make it stop.

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE! Now…AHA-HA-HA-HA! Come on, kids! I-I-I'm…AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA! I'm too…HEE-HEE-HEE…old for…so-called TICKLE FIGHTS!"

"You're never too old to laugh, Ironhide," Spike laughed, continuing to stroke the metal soul of Ironhide's foot.

"Yeah. You've been under a lot of pressure lately and laughter's supposed to be really good at relieving pent up tension."

"For humans maybe, but…AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA! You're KILLIN' me!"

"You'll feel so much better after you've had a nice long laugh. Trust me," Carly laughed.

"I'm gonna squish the pair o' you like an Insecticon when I can move again, HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!"

"What's all that noise?" Ratchet's voice shouted from the next room.

Suddenly, to Ironhide's horror, he heard footsteps and realised that Ratchet was coming back into the Med bay, probably to find out what all the commotion was about.

Oh, no! The humiliation. If Ratchet saw this, he would have a field day!

"NO! Ratchet, don't…AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Don't come in here…DON'T…!"

"I'm still working on Sunstreaker and I can't concen…" Ratchet suddenly stopped in his tracks when he witnessed what was before his eyes. There, lying on the berth, was a crazily laughing Ironhide while two young human children were down the far-end of the berth…TICKLING Ironhide's feet. At first, Ratchet was stunned. Then, suddenly, he burst out laughing, almost falling over from laughing so hard.

Ironhide didn't care about anything anymore. He just wanted those tiny little hands to leave his feet alone.

"PLEASE…MAKE THEM STOP, RATCHET!" Ironhide laughed, really hard. He felt like he was losing his sanity. "GIVE ME A HUNDRED DECEPTICONS! PUT ME UP AGAINST MEGATRON HIMSELF. JUST…MAKE THEM STOP!"

Ratchet laughed and, telling Spike and Carly to stop, they did so. Ironhide lay there, panting heavily. He just could not believe what had just happened to him. First, Spike and Carly find out his feet are ticklish, then he's begging and now Ratchet knew. He looked at Ratchet nervously and…even frightened looking.

"It's okay, Ironhide, old friend," Ratchet smiled, patting his shoulder. "I promise, your secret is safe with me. You can trust me. I'm your doctor and we can't break patient confidentiality."

"Thank you so much, Ratchet," Ironhide smiled, still breathing heavily.

Just then, Carly managed to climb up the side of Ironhide's body and back onto his chest. Crawling towards him, she smiled and wrapped her arms around his face, giving him a big hug. Ironhide would have done the same, had he not still been in stasis-lock.

"What's that for?" He smiled.

"I never did thank you properly…for saving my life from the Decepticons. If you hadn't come for me when you did that day, I would have drowned."

"Aaawwww!" Said Ironhide, embarrassed.

Just then, his optics went wide in surprise when Carly gave him a friendly kiss on his cheek.

"Okay. What was that for?" He smiled.

"For being the best friend I've ever had…and for introducing me to your other friends. Now they're my friends too. And, I met Spike. Before I ever met any of you, I was alone and now I'm not."

Suddenly, to Carly's surprise, a huge, but gentle hand wrapped around her back and gently pulled her into an embrace around his neck.

"But, I thought you couldn't move," Carly giggled.

"I've only just noticed the stasis lock wearing off now. At the moment, the only thing I can move is my hand."

Carly smiled and continued to embrace his neck.

"If you two love-birds can tear yourselves away from each other, we're actually going on a date today." Said Spike, smiling.

Ironhide carefully wrapped his fingers around Carly and handed her to Ratchet, who also took hold of Spike and set them back onto the ground.

"We'll see you later, Ironhide," Carly called up to him. "I'll tell you everything Spike and I got up to today when we get back."

"Enjoy yourselves, kiddos," Replied Ironhide, smiling softly.

As Carly and Spike were making their way through the door, Carly stopped and turned back to face Ironhide.

"Hey, Ironhide," she called. "Do you feel better after all that laughing?"

Ironhide chuckled. Amazingly, he did. In fact, it was the most wonderful feeling he had ever felt since before the war had ever began.

Oh, how he longed so much for the war to end. The sound of laughter was truly the happiest sound to hear over the sounds of frightened and painful screaming. He prayed that he would live to witness the day when the screaming of war stopped and the sound of happy laughter began.


End file.
